The Saddest Episode of My Life So Far..

Okay I think last night, I might have actually secured my place as the world's number 1 loser.

I was watching a film in bed and it finished about 2 o'clock in the morning. So, as normal, I proceed to turn the tv off and roll over and snuggle up in the duvet. But as I search around my bed for Zippy I can't find him.

Now Zippy is like my teddy version of the legendary character from Rainbow, I've had him since I was 3 or 4 and has since then been everywhere I go in which I am to spend a night. And yes, I still hug him. Here he is at a party, he's very loved you see.


Now if the fact that a 20 year old female, who lives alone, still has to sleep with a teddy isn't sad enough, I think last night I may have made the Guinness Book of Records for being a complete and utter sad twat. Excuse my french.

So yes, I couldn't find him, so I put the light on to find that he's nowhere in bed. So I check the floor, he's not there. I check under my bed, he's still not there.

Now at this point a sense of panic kicks in. Sad fact number 1.

So I then look into the bags of stuff I've packed ready to go back to uni in the morning, he's not there.

Now a deeper sense of panic sets in as I realise that over the weekend we've been cleaning out the loft of rubbish and what if he's got put in with the rubbish and has been dumped at the tip?

So the panic then turns to slightly teary eyed. Sad fact number 2.

I then knock on my mum and dads bedroom door to tell them the news. Sad fact number 3.

As I tell them that Zippy, who might aswell be a member of the family at this point in life, is nowhere to be found, a deep 'Oh no' comes out from under the covers.

The lights go on followed by the slippers and so the search for Zippy begins. We check binbags of rubbish in the back room to no avail.

At this point it's half 2 in the morning, and both my mum and dad are in work rather early on. Mum then pulls the ladders out as we soon realise, he's either in the loft or at the tip, and lord behold if its the latter, because I would be inconsolable if Zippy was dead, and yes, he would be dead. Sad fact number 4.

So up goes mother into the loft in search for the youngest family member, while at the bottom, me and my dad contemplate if he could have been in the rubbish that we took to the tip earlier on.

As the pit of my stomach deepens, I look up into the rubbed out eyes of Zippy, who is dangling from the hole in the roof. Mother the legend has found him.

The search is over. And a massive sense of relief washes over me. Sad fact number 5.

So yeahh, I dare anybody to come up with a more sad and pathetic life story then that. Come on!

Listening to: Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream